Twinkle Babies have been implanted via FET!!!

Yep, you read that right. 

Even though my last post spilled the beans that I am currently pregnant with a (out-of-the-blue) natural pregnancy (I'm now 22 weeks along)...

...the embryos that we had adopted received their chance at life this past week!  The couple that adopted the embryos from us traveled to California and had two beautiful blastocysts transferred successfully!  Praise God for that!

We are now praying that the twinkle babies snuggle in for the long haul in their cozy home for the next nine months.  We couldn't be happier for them and pray for a pregnancy!!!

Even before we found out about our miracle pregnancy, God had placed on my heart the gentle nudge to "surrender" these embryos.  Looking back on that time I just couldn't understand why God would ask me to give up what I thought was my only chance to be a mommy again.

Little did I know that he already had plans for us and my womb would be occupied when it came to transfer time.  We are reminded how mighty He really is!  And how true the verse..."before I formed you in the womb, I knew you" (Jeremiah 1:5).

I can't wait to receive the news that our dear friend is pregnant at the end of this TWW.  Please pray for this beautiful couple and their growing family!

2 more days til...

...baseline ultrasound.  Let's get this party started!

Dare I say it outloud (or should that be "outread"), but I'm starting to allow myself to get a little excited.  I am so sorry if I offended anyone by my last post which seemed like I didn't appreciate the wonderful place that God has us right now with this embryo adoption.

I do appreciate this amazing journey with our little twinkle babies and can't wait to meet them.  I just think I let fear take over, which has no place in my heart!

So, two days from now, I'll leave the house at 5:30am to brave the Los Angeles freeway system and somehow make my way to Dr. K's office on the other side of L.A.  It's about 80 miles from our house each way, so I'm just trying to give myself enough time to get to the 7:30am appointment and then get to the office (back near my home) at a reasonable hour to get some work done.

Thank you for your prayers.  My heart has definitely felt them and has lifted me out of my pit of self-occupation.  It's time for me to hand over this whole thing to the Lord and trust His will be done. 

I'm so excited again. 

By the way, this time around I think I'm only going to do 2 days of bedrest after the transfer.  Is that too little?  I know there are some pretty varied opinions out there, but I'd love to hear 'em.

I'm not basing this on any scientific data...just thinking about our previous transfers.

I did 11 days of bedrest with Little Mister (6 days of strict bedrest, followed by 5 days of laying on the couch).  I did 9 days of bedrest with our FET last year, which was not succesful.  So, I think this time around, I will rest for 2 or 3 days and then just take it easy at my office job. 

What do you think?

Long wait, FET scheduled & seeking God's peace

Hello everyone, it has been a very long time since I've posted last.  I think that between the whirlwind of the whole biopsy thing last year and the waiting for the donor contract...I was just too pooped to deal.

Well, here we are in March 2011 and our Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) is finally scheduled for April 11, 2011. 

I would love to say that the sun and moon aligned, the stars shined brightly and the FET date was chosen for us and that I'm super dooper popping out-of-my-skin, excited for the day to come---

However, that is not the case. 

On the contrary, I'm actually a little weirded out by the whole perception of power (incorrect, of course) that my hubby and I actually picked the date on a calendar and that we are somehow in control of all of this.  I don't want to be in control of anything...I'll just mess it up, I know it!

I know better.  I know we're not in control, but it still does feel really strange picking a random date on a calendar and then working backwards with shots and ultrasounds.

About the control thing...and knowing better...

I serve an amazing Creator who has put the sun, moon and stars into the sky, who knows every hair on my head and who has a plan, a future and a hope for me (and my future babies if that's in His will).  So why on earth am I feeling so strange about being the one to pluck a date out of thin air and actually select this FET date? 

And...if I'm being completely honest, I'm actually feeling a bit nervous about going into this next transfer and I cannot put my finger on why.  Nervous, and even a bit apprehensive, which has me worried.

I've been following many of my EA sisters' blogs and am so awed by the process, the beautiful and unique stories of each family journey, and God's peace that totally comes across in their writings.  Yes, I am a lurker.  Is that even a word?

So, here's the question folks...

Why is it, that as I am about to enter one of the most exciting times in my life, am I feeling uncertain about what I'm doing?

Could it be because...

• our FET last year failed
• guilt over having my 3 year old share his parents with a new baby
• I'm an only child and I don't even understand the blessings of having siblings
• wrapped up in work
• afraid it won't work this time
• afraid it will work this time
• worried that since it's a closed adoption that my future children will never be able to have the question of "where did I come from" ever truly answered (this one has me in a tizzy since the donor embryos are from an anonymous donor family who used donor eggs and the husband's sperm).  I would love your advice/thoughts on how to explain 5 parents to a child (age-appropriate, of course).  I am sad it's not an open adoption, but respect their decision (that we agreed to, by the way).
• and please don't judge me for this one, but there's a terrible thought in the back of my mind that having our 3 year old (biological son) and these children who were adopted as embryos will be strangely confusing to them all, and that they will have questions and comparisons that I can't answer for them.

I know I'm getting way ahead of myself here, but I can't even begin to describe what is going through my head and heart right now. 

I do realize that much of my tizzy spin is a waste of time because I still need to get pregnant.  I get that.

The good news is that I am seeking the Lord's wisdom and peace.  I had such peace about this before, but as we get closer and closer to the date, I am starting to spin a little.  Okay, maybe alot.

Please pray for God's peace in my heart.  Thank you for reading my brutally honest thoughts and thank you for praying for my heart.

Thankful for the Valleys?

I should warn you that this is going to be one long post, but I promise it does have a happy ending!

Last night in our home fellowship group our pastor posed the question of why we ought to be thankful.  Being Thanksgiving and all, my mind automatically went to the “blessings” side of my brain and counted off all of the awesome things that God has done this year. 

The pastor then added, what about being thankful when we are in the midst of a trial, suffering or other unwelcome event which takes place in our lives.

Huh…well…um…that took some serious thought!

It is so easy to be thankful on the mountaintops, but it’s when God has us in the valleys that we lean into Him and grow the most. 

In thinking about what I am most thankful for this year, my heart doesn’t immediately thank God for dry valleys…the infertility, Tall man’s genetic disease, the chemical pregnancy and loss of our donated embryos earlier this year, or the fact that I spend 40+ hours a week away from my 2 year old while I’m at work.  Those things naturally don’t rise to the top of my praise report list…but they should. 

With some deeper conversations with the Lord, he has shown me that…

It was our journey of infertility that led us to finally discovering the truth about hubby’s genetic disease.  Praise God for His mercy that He did not allow us to conceive naturally and pass on the defective gene.  Praise God for His grace through the people and technology of PGD IVF (that He has gifted and equipped) that our miracle son was born. 

Praise God for infertility that led us to embryo adoption this year.  My heart grieves that loss, but we praise God that the embryos are no longer in that forever frozen state and have now gone on to heaven to be with our Creator.  I must also praise God for it was through the witness of that loss that my dear friend who saw my heartache first-hand and response to that situation, ultimately led her to give her life to Christ.

God’s word tells us to…count it all joy when you fall into various trials (James 1:2).  I have to constantly remind myself that it doesn’t say “some” or “when I feel like it.”  It says count ALL.  Really? 

And just to be certain that I get the point, it also says, In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18).  Yep…pretty sure God means everything…including the desolate valley I’ve been walking.

Because…on the other side of this valley, lies a blessing…God’s perfect plan and purpose for my life. 

If you read some of my previous posts, you know that we’ve been waiting for quite some time for our embryo adoption/donation contract to be finalized.  It was taking a long time to hear anything from the donor family.  There was nothing else I could physically do to make the process go any faster. 

All I could do was pray.

The funny thing is…that’s what God wanted all along.  For me to pray…He simply wanted me to spend time with Him…alone, in His word.

So, for the past few weeks, I’ve been getting up at Oh-dark-thirty, grabbing my Bible and my blanket, heading out to my patio, and spending some amazing alone time with my Creator, my Friend and my Savior.  He is with me as the sun comes up and gives me thoughts to carry for the rest of the day.  I look forward to these moments as He breathes life into me.

What has been amazing was that as I spent more time with Him, the focus of my prayers shifted from me, the embryos, me, our family, me, me, me…to Him, His power, His might and His will and direction for our lives. 

And low and behold when I wasn’t expecting it, I got a call from our attorney.  The precious embryos we had been waiting for have now joined our family.  Poof, just like that --- the contract was finished.  Signed, sealed and delivered!

The twinkle babies are ours!

What a reminder that my perspective is so small, so tiny and shallow.  God’s word and His promises are true, but it’s because of this trial I can finally see that His hand is on me, has been on me and takes care of the entire span of the universe! 

So, am I thankful for valleys?  This is most certainly not a "bring-it-on" invitation for more trials to enter my life, but I will say that whatever the Lord is doing through our trials, I have faith that it is all because He loves me.

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12

My Princess...I will heal your heart

Yesterday was one of the difficult moments in my life.  You can read about it here.

In preparation of our FET, I'd been having my share of tests lately.

Two of my tests (my mammogram and ultrasound) came back with not-so-good news.  Since my mammogram and ultrasound revealed a cluster of cells that the radiologist was not comfortable with, he's sending me for a biopsy.  I just kept praying during this conversation.  Praying he would just tell me everything looked fine and that he'd made a mistake. 

Instead, he handed me a brochure (which I won't even get into here because it scared the bijeebers out of me), a pink lunchpail (in celebration of breast cancer awareness month), and sent me on my way.

When I got to my car after this news, I cried and prayed.  My prayers were met by the Lord.  I looked down at my phone and had received this text:

My Princess...
I will heal your heart. Don't get discouraged, my beloved.  Pain is a part of life. 

But I promise I will turn every tear you've cried into joy, and I will use your deep pain for a devine purpose.  Don't try to hide your hurts from me.  I know everything about you. 

You are mine.  My beloved!  I'm the only one who can handle your heart and restore you to health and wholeness again.  I, too, have felt great pain.  But we can go through every trial together. 

Hand in hand I will lead you back to my place of peace and joy after the storm.  The sun will shine on you again, and your heart will be healed. 

I promise you, my princess, that when you go through the deep waters of great trouble, I will be with you. 

When you go through the waters of difficulty you will not drown.  When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned.  Isaiah 43:1-2

Love,
Your King and your Healer

God's timing is perfect.  He knew that I would need His comfort after walking out of my appointment.

He will heal my body and my heart, no matter what this biopsy reveals. 

I am so grateful for my dear sister in Christ who sent me this text.  She was sending it for one purpose, but God used it for another.  Her obedience to the Lord in that moment to hit the "send" button so that I would receive His message was amazing.  God is amazing!

I've had a feeling lately that our FET may have to be postponed, but I never dreamed it would be because of something like this.

So, for now...we wait.  Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

The Defining Moments in Life

Looking back on life, I can think of a few defining moments that have changed me forever.  Moments that I will never forget the who, what, when and where...the words that were said and how my heart felt.  Otherwise normal moments in time that were interrupted by life-changing news that I had never expected.  The worst part of each of these memories is that I felt like I was blindsided.

Today was one of those moments.

But before I get to that, these are the defining moments from my past:

• The day that my mom told me that my dad had died and was never coming back home.  At the tender age of nine, I can still remember walking across our lawn hoping she was wrong.
• The day my mother's doctor called and said, "She just left us."
• The day I went in for "routine" tests at my ob/gyn's office, when I got a glimse of my chart with the word, "Infertility" written on it. The insensitivity of my (former) doctor and the shocking revelation that I had become part of the statistics.
• The day our genetic counselor uttered the words, "Its not good news." That was the day we came face to face with our future and living with a neurological disease.
• The day this past April that our RE called us to give us the results of our beta after our frozen embryo transfer (FET).  After four positive pregnancy tests at home, the doctor called to say, "I'm so sorry honey."

Which brings me to where we are now.

As you know, we have been on the amazing journey of embryo adoption/donation and can't wait to become the parents to three beautiful twinkle babies.  The contract is still not signed, but we are getting closer.

Part of Dr. K's orders to prepare my body for the transfer included blood tests for infectious diseases and regular girly tests like pap, breast exam and mammogram.  At 39 years old, this was my first mammogram!

All of the tests came back clear...except the mammogram.  Nurse A called to tell me that there were some slight "calcifications" in my right breast and I would need to go back for an ultrasound. She assured me that calcifications are quite common.

"Anything for baby," I said.  Whatever it takes.

I went in for the second mammogram and ultrasound today. Having heard that calcifications are common, I completely expected to walk in, have the test and walk out. 

After donning my stylish pink gown, the tech took some pictures and asked me to sit tight while the radiologist reviewed the films.  A few minutes later the radiologist came in to give me the results.

The radiologist said very plainly, "I don't like the cluster of cells that I'm seeing, so I am sending you for a biopsy."  Of course, there was so much more to this conversation.  But the bottom line is that the road to FET is being derailed by something that I never saw coming.  I am scared.

I got to my car, broke down in tears and prayed.

A Prayer of Encouragement as We Wait Upon the Lord

A dear friend reminded me of this beautiful prayer today.  It encouraged me greatly as I hope it does, you too:

Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Starting BCP today and hoping EA contract is closer to complete!

My favorite family member, Aunt Flow, showed up on Saturday.  This time...I welcomed her arrival as it meant that I can finally start the BCP in anticipation of our Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET).

Still no signed contract with the donor couple, but it is very close.  The attorneys are currently working on the draft and we may even receive it today or tomorrow.

The way I look at it...I have 21 days of the "active" pills to get it all ironed out.  We are so excited to be on this journey.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much because our hearts were crushed at our failed FET this past April (even after the initial +HPT).

So for now...I'm going to keep taking the pill and wait.  I want to take this time to search God's word and get to know His character deeper than ever.  I am still in awe that Embryo Adoption/Donation even exists and feel so grateful and honored that a family would give such an unselfish gift...and more importantly that God chose us to possibly be their parents.

God's timing is perfect!  And for now...I am resting in the knowledge of Him, the great Creator of the universe!  I hope to meet my little twinkle babies some day very soon. 

The nurse said today that she will discuss dates, etc after all of our bloodwork is completed.  I am anxiously awaiting for the snail mail to arrive to see exactly what all this bloodwork entails!  Let the needles begin!

So, it's looking like an October or November transfer date.  All I know is that today...we are one step closer.  Thanks for your prayers!

Got the call...moving forward!

What an exciting day!

We received a call today from the coordinator that the donor family responded and we will now enter the next step...the attorneys and contract.

I've said before that I've had a peace in my heart during this new journey.  I can only explain this peace as God-given, because I JUST KNOW it's not comin' from little ol' me!

We also got a call from the attorney tonight, which was reassuring (she's a mom of twins!).  She walked us through the process of what comes next.  The greatest news was that she said these precious little twinkle babies may be part of our family as soon as 10 days from now. 

So, for now we are just praying for God's timing in all of this.  We can't help but get excited over where He has us on our journey at the moment.

I guess alot can happen in just ten days!  Praising God for His miracles every day!

Yay! We are still a GO!

We just received a call from the coordinator (on a Saturday, no less) that they are still waiting to hear back from the donor couple.  I didn't expect a call on a Saturday, but that just confirms what I thought about how busy they are at the fertility clinic.

She said they had an over abundance of fertility procedures in the doctors office in the last two weeks, which hopefully means that many many couples are getting pregnant!

If all goes well, that will be us in a few months.  I am just praying that this FET works and that the precious twinkle babies stick around.

In my quiet time with the Lord today, He reminded me that He fashioned my heart individually.  This just spoke to my heart because he has also fashioned the heart of our (future) babies.  That just blesses me to no end!

I am so grateful that I am not on this journey alone and that He is leading me every step of the way.

Is no news really good news?

We have been in a holding pattern since meeting with our new doctor two weeks ago and have yet to hear anything from our coordinator regarding the (hopefully, “our”) twinkle babies.

I do have a peace in my heart that no news just means that they are super busy at the doctor's office.  God is definitely teaching me patience in all of this. 

That said, I still glance at my phone (like a teenager) hoping that it will ring!

We continue to pray for our Embryo Adoption process.  We pray that the donor family is 1) able to be reached, 2) still willing to give the precious gift of donating their twinkle babies, and 3) that the next steps go smoothly in adopting them into our family.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Hoop-a-thon or Poop-a-thon?

Last night while my friends rubbed shoulders with a few of the Los Angeles Lakers and UCLA Bruin basketball players at the HDSA Hoop-a-thon,

I was at home potty training a two-year old at our very own Poop-a-thon! And, yes that is a mini-basketball hoop in the background!

First let me explain…while I am truly excited that Little Mister is finally interested in making this giant leap into big boy pants, it certainly doesn’t allow us to go very far from home without a little anxiety (on my part, of course)! Which is why we did not make the 45 mile trek to the north last night. Judging by the poop-a-thon that ensued with Little Mister last night…it sure was a good bet to stick around (Ew…tmi, right?).

Potty training aside, I am really bummed that I missed the Hoop-a-thon event last night becase it was the first appearance by UCLA Basketball Coach Ben Howland since going public with his family’s fight against Huntington’s Disease. Read the L.A. Times article here. The Hoop-a-thon was a fundraiser which raised money for research toward a cure and help for families who struggle with this devastating disease. I hope the fundraiser was a huge success and another step toward a future free of Huntington’s Disease.

Huntington’s Disease is the reason that Tall Man and I went through PGD IVF to conceive Little Mister, which you can read about here. We wanted to ensure that we did not pass on this deadly gene.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be posting more about Huntington’s Disease. It is just another factor in what led us to PGD IVF and now Embryo Adoption. Hopefully, I will also be posting an update on our current journey with Embryo Adoption. We are in holding pattern until we hear from our coordinator.

Consult with new RE

We met with Dr. K yesterday. I still think it is pretty unbelievable that God used someone in Kansas to get me to a doctor 80 miles to the north in Thousand Oaks! God’s ways definitely are not our ways!

The doctor spent more than an hour talking to Tall Man and me about our “goals” and our issues. We spent most of the time discussing two things…a) FET with donor embryos (our main focus for the meeting and reason we were there) and b) PGD IVF (figured we may as well discuss it since it was the way Little Mister was conceived).

Dr. K said this is OUR decision and we should consider three things in making that decision:

1. Medical – Is what we are doing medically possible?
2. Emotional – Can we endure the roller coaster of emotions in this process?
3. Financial – Do we have the finances to go forward with our decision?

Fortunately, the medical outlook is good for me to carry a pregnancy; emotionally we have God holding our hands and a doctor who is an expert in the field; and financially, well…we don’t want this to break us. All things prayerfully considered, we are going with adopting embryos who are already babies waiting to be born rather than trying again with my (39 year old) eggs and creating more embryos.

Jen was so right. Dr. K is amazing, confident, calm and even gave us his cell phone number. Who does that? He truly cares. We were very impressed.

The best part about our visit was that they have a match for us. Hubby and I are a strange melting pot combination of ethnicities, which ended up making our biological son 25% Asian. Who would have ever guessed that Dr. K would have 25% Asian embies.

We are now headed on the path to adopt them and pray that everything goes smoothly from here on out. God is sooooo in control.

Today I am thanking God for everything and thanking my new friend and sister in Christ for her ministry.

There's a Reason for Everything

Remember a few months ago when I posted our sad news about the negative beta? That post also contained a silver lining in that I was able to share the gospel of Christ to a non-believing friend who came to grieve the loss with me that night. You can read about it here.

Four months later (and after many victories of our Lord’s) my sweet friend committed her life to Jesus Christ for the first time. All because she now had the faith of a mustard seed that God has promised to grow.

I’ve learned that God uses the most difficult things to show His love and mercy to His people. While I can’t even explain how sad I was that we had to go through the failed transfer and the loss of those little lives, I am eternally grateful for my friend’s salvation that can never be revoked!

Believe!

Just got back from vacationing in San Diego! Had a great time at Sea World and the Zoo. It was such a joy to see Little Mister’s eyes light up from seeing the pandas or getting nose-to-nose with the hippos (through 12 inch plexiglass, of course). Even Tall Man was mesmerized by the polar bears and koalas!

One of the most memorable moments was at the Shamu Show at Sea World. For those of you who haven’t seen it, picture a gigantic killer whale playfully splashing the audience, twisting, turning and doing flips, and at times showing an almost human-like personality.

The name of the show was “Believe”, and I think that tagline pretty much sums up where our family is in our fertility journey. We “believe” that miracles can happen and “believe” that even though we have one miracle, all things are possible with Christ.

This weekend really made me think about how grateful I am to God for this precious time with my family. But, the thought did cross my mind that this may very well be the last hoorah for the Three Zees before we enter another round of cycling to (hopefully) grow us from the Three Zees to the Four Zees. Doesn’t have the same kind of ring to it though, does it?

After reading how another gal in in the EA “sisterhood” was matched in 9 days, we recently posted our family profile on the Miracles Waiting website. This was a first for us, but we are hopeful that God will lead the family of our future embryos to this site and find “us”.

I have to admit it was a bit of a challenge trying to summarize who we are in a couple of short paragraphs. I just have to remember that God is in full control of this whole process. Just like our Heavenly Father led my husband and I to each other nine years ago as if He hand-picked each of us and prepared our hearts…I truly believe that He is preparing a family for this major decision right now (the decision to allow another family to adopt their frozen embryos).

We are also waiting for our consult appointment with the new RE on August 19th. I am anxious for the day to arrive! I think about all of the teeny chilly babies and wonder if there is one out there for us. One who may someday be a baby in our arms. In the meantime, I just have to continue to ask God for patience and wisdom as we wait. We are open to wherever He is leading us next.

Prayer of my heart:
Dear Lord…you know how much my heart desires another child. You know my heart because you created it. Thank you God for the blessings of my family and the miracle of Little Mister. I pray that you continue to reveal your plan for our lives and show us which path you would like us to take next. I pray that it involves the blessing of chilly babies, but know that Your plan and Your will are always way better than mine.

Considering Embryo Adoption Options

I was inspired by this woman’s story of embryo adoption and how her journey gave God the glory every step of the way. You can read for yourself here.

I decided to reach out to her today and ask a few questions. Knowing that she’s out of state and has eight children including a newborn I didn’t expect to hear from her for a while.

Much to my surprise she emailed me right back and gave me information on her clinic (which is here in California), her doctor (Dr. K) and told me about the various routes to embryo adoption. One option (Snowflakes) I was aware of, but the others were new to me.

•Miracles Waiting – a website where adopting couples and donor couples can post profiles and find matches. It is a non-profit organization, but to keep the site running they do charge adopting couples a $150 posting fee (well worth it, when you consider what it’s for).

•National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) – non-profit organization for embryo donation and adoption. Their program handles the medical, legal and social (education and awareness) aspects of embryo adoption (including frozen transfer at their center if you choose not to ship embryos locally).

As a result of my email dialogue with my new EA sister, I contacted Dr. K to get a consult AND asked Tall Man if we could check out the Miracles Waiting site.

My new friend sent me a cyber hug as I started the EA journey. Sending hugs to all of you who are also on the journey of EA. I pray we are hugging our chilly babies one day soon.

Another Route to Embryo Adoption

I have not forgotten about all of the chilly babies out there. God continues to put on my heart the desire for embryo adoption.

So, the other night while I was doing some more research on the subject, God led me to a blog which not only explained the whole process from a woman who went through it, but she also gave God all the glory. Talk about Spirit-lead!

Since the whole concept is still pretty new to me, I learned so much just from reading through her experience. She did not use an agency to adopt her embryos.

The funny thing was that I was stuck on part of the blog that described the embryo adoption and frozen embryo transfer process, but could not for the life of me find the current posts. Duh! I must have been tired. So…tired and inspired I went to bed without finding out how the story ended? Did it work? Did she get pregnant? Did she have the baby(ies)?

The next day I did find her current posts and was excited to see the BIRTH of her beautiful baby girl. Embryo adoption and God’s glory…what a perfect ending to that story.

Discouraged and Encouraged

Discouraged that this process is not easy. Discouraged that infertility and disease exist. Discouraged about the financial costs to do something that may not work. Still praying about using the agency, but it’s not looking promising.

Encouraged that God is still on the throne! Encouraged that we can lay our burdens at His feet. Encouraged that I do not walk alone for my Lord is with me.

Program fees at embryo adoption agency

I contacted the Snowflakes embryo adoption program today about the Japanese-Caucasian embryos, specifically. Megan, the embryo adoption coordinator, was a sweet voice on the other end of the phone who took the “scary” out of this process.

Snowflakes pioneered uncharted territory when they ventured out into the world of embryo adoption in 1997. They really are the most professional and ethical agency around.

Their regular program fees for embryo adoption are $8,000 (much less than the $18,000 on the domestic adoption side of the agency). The program fee gets you matched up to three times. They use the number three because most couples will get pregnant within the matches. That fee also includes the legal process for the embryo adoption between the genetic couple and adopting couple.

What it doesn’t include is the home study fee of $2,500 which has to be done before any matching occurs. They really emphasize the adoption education process, which I completely understand and like. Since we live in their area, they would be doing the home study.

A new thing I learned………..

The good news is that the multi-ethnic embryos have a reduced program fee. Mainly because the couple is looking to adopt specific embryos from one genetic family (not matching with three genetic families like the regular program works).

So, fees for us would look like this if we chose to go this route:

$2,500 Home study
$4,900 Program Fee (multi-ethnic embryos)
$2,500 FET_____________________
$9,900 Total (not including meds and mock cycle)

I told her we are still praying about how to go forward (or not) with embryo adoption. We really want to be good stewards of the provision God has given us. Praying for God’s wisdom and guidance.

Snowflakes agency posts multi-ethnic embryos on their website

We are having a great summer with Little Mister! Between swimming lessons, birthday parties and camping trips…we’ve been having a blast.

I have to admit though, there are moments when I think about what life would be like right now if our FET in April had worked. Things would be different if I were five months pregnant. I sure would be wearing different jeans!

Confession…I took a peek at the Snowflakes website today for the first time in months. If you’ll remember, my first information “encounter” on embryo adoption was with Snowflakes. Read here for my eye opening experience about these precious little chilly babies. The Snowflakes program is the embryo adoption arm of Nightlight Christian Adoption (a full-service adoption agency) and they have an office right down the street in Anaheim Hills, California.

Snowflakes has a multi-ethnic embryos page which highlights the non-caucasian and/or mixed ethnicity embryos and gives them a chance to be seen. This is especially of interest to me and Tall Man because we are a mutt mix of ethicities which includes my half-Asian-ness (not a word, I’m sure).

My heart fluttered a little when I saw the Japanese-Caucasian embryos. Oh how I would love to honor my mother’s heritage by adopting embryos of Japanese decent. Another thing to pray about.

I do believe that God has a plan for us Zees. We are living out our little miracle every day with Little Mister.