Another Route to Embryo Adoption

I have not forgotten about all of the chilly babies out there. God continues to put on my heart the desire for embryo adoption.

So, the other night while I was doing some more research on the subject, God led me to a blog which not only explained the whole process from a woman who went through it, but she also gave God all the glory. Talk about Spirit-lead!

Since the whole concept is still pretty new to me, I learned so much just from reading through her experience. She did not use an agency to adopt her embryos.

The funny thing was that I was stuck on part of the blog that described the embryo adoption and frozen embryo transfer process, but could not for the life of me find the current posts. Duh! I must have been tired. So…tired and inspired I went to bed without finding out how the story ended? Did it work? Did she get pregnant? Did she have the baby(ies)?

The next day I did find her current posts and was excited to see the BIRTH of her beautiful baby girl. Embryo adoption and God’s glory…what a perfect ending to that story.

Discouraged and Encouraged

Discouraged that this process is not easy. Discouraged that infertility and disease exist. Discouraged about the financial costs to do something that may not work. Still praying about using the agency, but it’s not looking promising.

Encouraged that God is still on the throne! Encouraged that we can lay our burdens at His feet. Encouraged that I do not walk alone for my Lord is with me.

Program fees at embryo adoption agency

I contacted the Snowflakes embryo adoption program today about the Japanese-Caucasian embryos, specifically. Megan, the embryo adoption coordinator, was a sweet voice on the other end of the phone who took the “scary” out of this process.

Snowflakes pioneered uncharted territory when they ventured out into the world of embryo adoption in 1997. They really are the most professional and ethical agency around.

Their regular program fees for embryo adoption are $8,000 (much less than the $18,000 on the domestic adoption side of the agency). The program fee gets you matched up to three times. They use the number three because most couples will get pregnant within the matches. That fee also includes the legal process for the embryo adoption between the genetic couple and adopting couple.

What it doesn’t include is the home study fee of $2,500 which has to be done before any matching occurs. They really emphasize the adoption education process, which I completely understand and like. Since we live in their area, they would be doing the home study.

A new thing I learned………..

The good news is that the multi-ethnic embryos have a reduced program fee. Mainly because the couple is looking to adopt specific embryos from one genetic family (not matching with three genetic families like the regular program works).

So, fees for us would look like this if we chose to go this route:

$2,500 Home study
$4,900 Program Fee (multi-ethnic embryos)
$2,500 FET_____________________
$9,900 Total (not including meds and mock cycle)

I told her we are still praying about how to go forward (or not) with embryo adoption. We really want to be good stewards of the provision God has given us. Praying for God’s wisdom and guidance.

Snowflakes agency posts multi-ethnic embryos on their website

We are having a great summer with Little Mister! Between swimming lessons, birthday parties and camping trips…we’ve been having a blast.

I have to admit though, there are moments when I think about what life would be like right now if our FET in April had worked. Things would be different if I were five months pregnant. I sure would be wearing different jeans!

Confession…I took a peek at the Snowflakes website today for the first time in months. If you’ll remember, my first information “encounter” on embryo adoption was with Snowflakes. Read here for my eye opening experience about these precious little chilly babies. The Snowflakes program is the embryo adoption arm of Nightlight Christian Adoption (a full-service adoption agency) and they have an office right down the street in Anaheim Hills, California.

Snowflakes has a multi-ethnic embryos page which highlights the non-caucasian and/or mixed ethnicity embryos and gives them a chance to be seen. This is especially of interest to me and Tall Man because we are a mutt mix of ethicities which includes my half-Asian-ness (not a word, I’m sure).

My heart fluttered a little when I saw the Japanese-Caucasian embryos. Oh how I would love to honor my mother’s heritage by adopting embryos of Japanese decent. Another thing to pray about.

I do believe that God has a plan for us Zees. We are living out our little miracle every day with Little Mister.

One Door Closes as Another Opens

Yesterday, hubby and I received the awful news that our beta test was negative. After four positive home pregnancy tests and the hope that we would be parents again, the news during this phone call was really hard to take as we so expected completely different outcome today. I never expected this could fail and truthfully did not prepare my heart or mind for this kind of devastating news.

Two of my best friends came to my teary rescue to comfort me since hubby had to work his regular graveyard shift. It was hard to see him off to work, but that was his coping mechanism. Mine was at home.

Ready to hear about the miracle that ensued next? I thank God for these ladies:

•Sweet friend #1, sister in Christ, comforted me with God’s Word and assurance that He is still on the throne despite what I was going through here on earth. As heartbreaking as that was, I had peace about our embryos finally being released to heaven to be with the Lord. I had peace in my heart that I could not explain. I prayed for His plan all through our FET process and accepted this as His answer. I didn’t like it, but knew in my heart that God’s ways are not our ways.

•Sweet friend #2, not a believer yet (whom I love dearly and have never passed judgment on for her religious views) was amazed by the peace that I was sad but okay with not being pregnant. I think that she believed she was coming over to wipe me up off the floor, which was not the case at all. She also didn’t know that sweet friend #1 and I had been praying for her salvation for years.

So, there we were. The three of us friends…two at peace that God is still good and one friend still searching for answers.

She asked two questions that night…questions that she most likely thought would be cathartic and healing for ME to answer. Little did she know God was using this entire experience, my failed FET process to show HER his love and comfort. She asked us 1) how we knew when God was speaking to us, and 2) How we knew that peace in our hearts was from God?

I will tell you that the next two hours of talking with her about God’s great love for us was literally life changing. After she left for the night, sweet friend #1 and I cried and prayed and cried some more that it took something this powerful to reach into her heart and allow it to soften to God’s love. That night was a night of healing for both me regarding the embryos, and for my friend who had never heard the truth of the gospel.

We Still Believe

Many of you know what the Three Zees have been praying for these days…for God to grow our family. Thank you dear friends for your continued prayer. We are blessed to have you as friends.

After four positive home pregnancy tests, we were a bit deflated today when the blood test came back negative. Although we may never know what happened, we thank God for the process he allowed us to go through and all of the answered prayer along the way. We are just sad that this one did not have the ending that we were hoping for.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills,
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

We still believe…God is still on the throne…He is our strength and shield. Our babies are now in heaven with Him.

Happy Birthday Little Mister

Today Little Mister turned TWO!

I cannot believe it has been two years since he came into the world crying his cute little head off and looking just like my mother.

How a newborn baby boy can look like an Asian grandMA is beyond me! Remember that sweet smile?

He’s grown a lot since that day.

Little Mister was happy to meet his first sundae at Farrell’s. What a great way to teach a lesson on sharing. Yum!

Thank you, Lord for giving me the joy of my heart!